A Passion of Mine

I think one of the greatest problems I have is that I have binders and notebooks and endless sheaves of paper filled with plots and character outlines and interesting quotes to include in stories, but I have never really fleshed them out. I love to write. Typing is okay, and type-writers are beyond incredible (I have always wanted to have one of my own), but nothing quite compares to the feeling of a pen scratching on a pad of paper.

I recently got an article I wrote published in my college's newspaper (I'm a copy-editor for said paper as well, and Ryne is one of their very talented graphic designers). The thrill of seeing my name in print, albeit for a small Muse piece in a student paper, was quite exquisite. And I would like to see that again. And again. Preferably not on a newspaper. I would like to see Cassandra Scott or C.A. Scott on the front of a hardcover novel in the front display of a bookstore.
With the sign "NY Times Bestseller" on a sign above it.

Naturally, this is something that will take a lot longer than I expect it will. I have always dreamed of being a writer, and I still remember the first story I ever wrote. I was in second grade and it was in a tiny little notebook with an awful, very dull pencil. I recently found said story in the garage a couple weeks ago, and it was cringe-worthy.
Another story that I wrote--which could actually be considered a novella because it was remarkably long considering my age--when I was in fifth grade actually had some genius ideas in it. I still have that one and read it frequently.

And the only other finished work I have is a book that I co-authored with a friend of mine (who, unfortunately, is no longer a friend). Not to sound snobby, but I did write the majority of it, and she just offered ideas and let me flesh them out. It took us a good two years of high school to write it, and when we finished, we started on the second one in the series. It always makes me sad to think about how she still has the finished manuscripts, and due to the way our friendship ended, I can never ask for them back. I want to read them again, but any attempts at trying to retrieve them would be futile.

But besides those three, there isn't a single work that I have started that has been finished.
And it's really due to my own lack of commitment to a single idea. Or, honestly, I have yet to find an idea that really holds me captive and leaves me wanting to go back to write more. I have read countless of articles of advice for writers, about you should write even when you don't feel like it. Write even when inspiration isn't striking you. And that is sound advice. Advice that I should definitely be following. But I can't seem to make myself do it.

I recently made an extremely detailed outline of a novel series that I desperately wanted to write. I compiled all of the necessary bits of information into a single folder, and dubbed the series Birthmarked, after the main theme of the stories (I would tell you what it is, but you know, I don't want someone to steal my ideas).
I started the rough draft and completed a few chapters before I was burned out on the idea and quit.
Sometimes these habits of mine make me question whether I really have what it takes to be a writer. But then I think about what I would do if I didn't write, and doing anything else makes me unbearably sad. I love to write. I don't want to do anything else.
Maybe I just need to mature and get some cool kind of discipline that forces me to write two hours out of every day, regardless of my feelings.

"No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us."

Romans 8:37